fighting for ur love for so long

but where does this want stem from?
Im not in the right place to do any of this

I don’t think ill ever be
I should stop wasting time
for you and for me

Because life is short
and im not sure I’ll make it
especially at this rate,
but just know I never faked it

everythings been real, except for
me to myself.
Me and reality don’t mix too well
truth is, I’ll never be ready, not for you,
but for this life

and im sorry you’ve gotten to know me
at least for a little while
because like I said before,
life is short
and my time is ticking fast past the hour

and I don’t want you or anyone to feel sad
because its not worth it
I did this to myself
I just miss what I once had
Im trying to go back to that

this eternal longing to be alone
its what consumes my soul

for months, no telling why 
isolation is calling
long nights, attempts to rest
my eyes fear—
Isolation is sprawling

around me and my light
beams, where’s my
ray of sunshine?
moms morning’s of these
singed down
to mourning the deceased

this eternal longing to be alone
where will it lead?

I heard people aren’t meant to be
alone, at least
not for too long that is

but isolation unceasingly
asks for my soul

and for some reason that’s appealing to me
for something to want me
a longing with security

(ive never been exclusive,
was never drawn towards the weather)